


A year without her

by orphan_account



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Angst, John is a Good Friend, LITERALLY, Paul Is Sad, a bit of mclennon, anyway, i need to stop making paul sad, julia is everyone’s mom, like sad, mary mccartney is a angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 14:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20640530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Paul is going through some serious emotions a year after the day Paul’s mother dies.





	A year without her

**Author's Note:**

> imo it seems as if most people forget that paul lost his mother at an extremely vulnerable age. paul grew a shell around himself after his mother’s death, but i tried to get a observation of what emotional storm was brewing inside that shell.

— October 31st, 1957

Bird flying high.   
Sun setting in the sky.   
Breeze drifting on by.   
An ending evening, incoming a new dawn and a new day.   
A new wondrous life waiting for others.  
Kids trick or treating, running free, feeling good and different colors on trees blossoming, glistening ever so brightly. 

“Good evening big Mccartney.” John greeted, leisurely leaning against the front door of the Mccartney household. “May I borrow little Mccartney for the evening of trick or treating?” John bashfully questioned, fluttering his eyelashes, with his fake posh accent causing he himself to wince. 

Jim stared unsure at the younger boy, before exhaling and moving to the side to escort John inside of the home. “He’s locked up in his room, today’s a hard day for all of us.” Jim said, before going over towards the stairway, “Paul! Your friend John is here!” 

“It’s just Halloween.” John mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as he furrowed his eyebrows. He had then heard a strangled grunt, which cause him to stare over longingly towards Jim with confusion. 

After hearing what John had mumbled, Jim turnt towards the boy with a facial expression that resembled every emotion, including furious anger. John wasn’t frightened though, he was just blatantly confused by the sudden hostility of Jim’s attitude towards him — he knew Jim didn’t like him around Paul. Only Jim would try and hide his dislike for John, but today seemed as if he put in the towel. 

“Have him back by eleven. Any later, you’d have to climb up the drainpipe.” Jim angrily demanded, before darting his gaze over towards Paul who somberly marched down the stairs with an unreadable expression. 

John’s face literally lit up as light as a Christmas tree at the sight of his best friend, but it faded a bit from the younger’s vacant expression. Jim silently moved to the side so Paul could approach John, his head was down and his hazel, puppy dog shaped eyes were locked on his shoes as he came up towards John. “Gotta put my shoes on, just wait outside.” 

John was quick to interject, “But I could just wait h-”

“Outside.” Paul sharply demanded, lifting his head up so that their eyes met and when John caught the done-with-this shit gaze from Paul, he immediately nodded before usually, as he did, pressing the matter. After closing the door, waiting for the younger boy John looked around at the different younger kids knocking at the doors of strangers houses. Of course John was not actually going to go trick or treating, he planned to steal children’s sweets with Paul by his side. Then afterwards, he planned to meet up with everyone else at the pub to get some drinks for the night. 

John sighed and smiled to himself at the thought of getting out tonight, especially with Paul. Throughout the months of their friendship blossoming, John figured Paul out to be way different than any other bloke he hung around with. Different as in, interesting — Paul was something John wants to open up and inspect, he literally never felt that way about anyone else. It confused John to the end, but he did not want to think about it too much. Paul was just a good humored individual, and on top of that he was a significant friend. Especially when John’s birthday came on a few weeks earlier in the month, and Paul gifted him a whole new Rickenbacker. It was something that was a permanent upgrade from his first guitar. John remembered the slightly shy smile Paul had when John’s eyes widened in astonishment. 

John felt himself warm up, then his body quickly snapped out of it. Whatever he was feeling, Paul sure wouldn’t feel the same w-

“You’re seventeen. Do you really want to go out and trick or treat?” Paul bluntly asked, staring up deadpanned at John’s direction as he stood in front of the older boy. Paul had his hands in his coat jacket, with a leather black beret placed upon his head which made him look a bit older than fifteen. 

“Yeah, got something planned tonight.” John said, beginning to walk ahead of the other boy. “What’s the matter with you Macca? Yesterday you was completely fine.” 

As they walked, Paul took a few minutes to answer the question. John took this as cue to continue on with his statement about Paul’s sulky demeanor, “With that baby face you have, you look like an angry bunny. Also your father was working on my bloody nerves, I prefer you to answer the door next time.” 

“My mum died this day last year.” 

“Also you’re usually the optimistic one out of the two of us, so I prefer for you to let me do my j-” John paused, stopping his walking abruptly as he looked behind his shoulder towards Paul. John blinked, feeling all of a sudden uneasy and awkward about the dyer situation. “Oh.. Paul I’m so- I’m so sorry.” 

Paul just shrugged, and passed by John as he walked with his head down. “Damage is done, can’t go back now.” 

“No, no Paul wait.” 

“What?” Paul paused again, and turnt around to face John who was approaching Paul’s two inch shorter frame. “You want to go trick or treating right? Let’s go fucking trick or treating.” Paul spat, his voice cracking unknowingly before turning around to walk again. 

John speed walked towards Paul, gently draping his arm around his shoulder once he caught up with him. John sighed through his nose as he felt Paul tremble under his arm, and breathing heavily signaling that he was crying hard. Okay, this wasn’t John’s plan, not at all. His mother was indeed absent in his life until he was about thirteen, now knowing that she did not live far away from where he lived. John couldn’t imagine losing his mother at all, not even now at seventeen years old but especially not at the vulnerable age of fourteen. 

Paul was still clearly knocked up from the trauma. So before the boys did anything that night, John stood in front of the door of Julia’s home, gently rapping his knuckles against the door. Paul stood behind him, arms crossed and hazel eyes looking out into the distant lights glistening down the street. 

“My mum’s nice Macca, she’ll make you feel better.” John said, awkwardly kicking his feet against the ground as he heard shuffling from the other side of the door. Hopefully Bobby wasn’t there, John felt as if it would be too much to deal with his clearly upset mate and an asshole stepfather-ish. 

“Nice.” Paul numbly said, never retracting his eyes from the flickering lights. 

The door opened, and out came John’s mother who embraced her son tightly with a light cooeing sound. Paul almost rolled his eyes at the sound, feeling slightly insulted by the both of them. Although, John did not mean to unknowingly slap Paul in his face by bringing him over to John’s mother’s house, and have his own mother hug him so affectionately — on the same day Paul’s mother died just twelve months ago. Julia pulled away from John, pinching his cheek before approaching Paul. “Hey Paul, how are you feeling?” 

“Quite cozy, lovely really. Can’t you tell?” Paul’s hidden sarcasm, usually hidden by his pompous personality and optimism came pouring out all over that sentence. John gave him a stern look, as Julia cleared her throat awkwardly and took a step back. 

“Come inside, it’s chilly out here.” Julia smiled, gently gesturing the two hits inside. John eagerly took Paul’s wrist into his hand, and dragged the younger boy inside towards the dining room which was occupied by John’s sisters. Thankfully, no Bobby. Paul’s mean face surprisingly melted into a fake happy one, greeting the young girls kindly with that Mccartney charm. John sat down, taking a piece of candy into his hand to unwrap it. Julia marches in happily, a smile never leaving his face. “So boys! What’s the plan tonight? Ready to scare some children?”

“Take some of their candies.” John answered, handing the candy over to his sister who took it gracefully. He had then presumed to making some sort of creature with the small wrapper piece, “Then meet up with everyone else.” 

“That sounds very exciting.” Julia happily said, while ruffling up John’s hair. “Ready to have some fun with John, Paul?” 

“I guess so.” Paul emptily shrugged, looking down at the puzzle pieces splayed out on the table by one of John’s youngest sisters. 

Julian looked over at John who stared up at Paul from the candy wrapper. John had then transitioned his stare over towards Julia, they had a mental conversation over the few awkward minutes that soared by. 

‘What’s wrong with your friend?’

‘His mom died.’ 

‘Oh..oh dear..’ 

‘Yeah, I’m trying to cheer him up before we could do this plan tonight.’

‘Poor baby, he’s so young. What about his father?’ 

‘Still alive don’t worry. He’s a bit of a prick though.’

“I can hear you guys.” Paul straightforwardly said, leaning back against his chair to cross his legs. Julia and John froze, their face turning an embarrassed cherry red. “John said the P word!” Julia Baird laughed out loudly, before covering her mouth as her two other sister’s giggled along with her. John made a funny face at her which sent the three girls almost to their deaths by hysterical laughter. Meanwhile Julia walked over towards Paul, resting her hand against his middle back and wrapping an arm around him before pulling him into a comforting hug. 

“I am so sorry my dear, if there’s anything you need. Always, always come here. I’ll be your mother for you.”

“Wait Mum, that would be weird for me.” John interrupted, face contorted into a rather confused expression as he held his hand up. “Especially since I kind of have a crus-”

“Hush John!” Julia playfully scolded, turning her head towards her son. Paul allowed himself to smile, nuzzling his face into Julia’s neck which made him get the nostalgic feeling of his mother’s arms wrapped around him instead. 

John just shrugged, picking up a cup of tea that his younger sister was not drinking and taking sips out of it. Watching as Julia comforted his younger friend, hopefully he’d feel better after this. 

Julia hummed in content, kissing Paul’s forehead and squeezing him gently before continuing, “Paul is your brother now.” 

John choked which made him involuntarily spray out his drink from his mouth, standing up abruptly as he coughed until his face turnt red. Along with tears brimming his eyes as he choked from the tea that went down the wrong pipe, along with that Julia had said. Paul pulled away from her as well, chubby baby cheeks a bit red at the sudden statement of John becoming his brother. Julia laughed out loud at her son’s reaction, and unwrapped her arms around Paul while the three girls laughed at John’s choking as well. 

“Mum no!” John sputtered, slightly happy at the laughter coming out of Paul’s mouth. 

“Mum yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!

“No!” 

“Yes, and that’s final! Now I must go check on dinner.” Julia had then stood up, clasping her hands together behind her back as she wandered out of the kitchen. 

John shook his head, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt as he watched his mother bounce upon the balls of her feet down the hallway towards the kitchen. The auburn haired boy had then felt a tug on his arm which made him turn around and face Paul, who had seemed to be visibly better. 

“I feel okay now. Well, I think I do.” Paul softly said, shrugging a bit as he wiped his eyes. “Your mother told me that in some way my mum will always be with me. She’s protecting me you know? She’s not here, but she’s protecting me.” Paul smiled weakly, but it was still beautiful enough to make his older friend smile back. “I’m- I’m sorry for being moody John. That’s not me. I feel like an arse now- I don’t even know how to make it u-”

John suddenly placed both of his hands on Paul’s shoulders, and pulled the younger man in close enough for a friendly embrace. Something Paul wasn’t prepared for in the slightest, but the younger boy did give in, nuzzling his head into John’s collarbone as they rocked side to side. “Don’t apologize Macca, it wasn’t your fault. Let’s just go trick or treating alright?” 

Paul pulled away, a bright, real, smile on his face as he stared up at John. “Alright.”

Then out of the house two went, with Julia happily waving goodbye to her “two son’s” on her doorstep and letting them the most spectacular night of their lives.


End file.
